Sunday, October 23, 2016

After The Crash...(you just gotta get up).

Be clear, Life ain't fair.
And that's still no excuse.
Be clear, you may not reach your goals.
And that's still no excuse.
You may never get married, make a million dollars, have the job you want, raise the child, or earn a grammy.
And still, you are not excused.

I say all of this, because some of us are walking through lives, stuck and turned around.  It's like we were in a crash, and we have spun off the road and are in a ditch, trying to live out our lives by pitching a tent where we crashed.  Imagine trying to build a house at your crash site...cooking breakfast, showering up, and getting dressed, leaving your crash site every morning, only to return to it every night.  Doesn't that sound ridiculous?

Sadly, most of us live at our emotional crash sites.  We hear only the negative commentary about our skill sets, and instead of putting our name in the hat, we play it safe.  We remember only the brokeness of being in love/like/lust, and so we never put ourselves in a position to be vulnerable.  We remember only our hardship, never reflecting on our own triumph.  We are always reminded of others best lives on social media and sometimes in real life, and so we live in regret, never creating what we desire.  Instead, its just easier to be envious.

Okay, so let me be real clear.  It ain't easy to recover from crashes.  Losing mothers suck!  Living without fathers suck!  Having to take time off from school sucks!  Being fired from a decent job sucks!  Not getting in sucks!  Breaking up sucks!  Some things are indeed shitty.  And it takes a while to come to grips with loss, hardship, failure, delay, and disappointment.  In fact, some hurt you will just have to live with.  It won't be fair, it's just what has to be done.

The truth of the matter is that you only get one life to live.  So you must make the most of it.  And wherever you crashed, whatever you crashed into, if you survived, you really only have one obligation.  And, this is an obligation to self.  Honestly, no one else can do it for you, because if you decided to try to build a house around the place where you crashed, people will let you.  They will help you move a couch right in the ditch.  Only a few really close friends will ask the question that you need asked, "what are you doing here?" 

There is good news though, even prophets get scared and run from their gifts, and there is a passage of scripture where a prophet is hiding in the caves.  He's worried about being killed by an evil queen. And no matter, how he feels, God asks, "what are you doing here?"

This is an important question, because most of us can't answer it.  We would rather wallow in self-pity, than do the work it takes to get out of the ditch, and get back on track. By this time, you probably really think I'm talking about you.  In all actuality, I'm really talking about me.

I've had the wind knocked out of me more times than I liked to count.  And, I honestly have meandered down paths that almost invalidate every passion or calling I ever had.  I have never gotten over any death of anybody I love, it triggers me...and I know it.  I, especially, find it hard to go to funerals of children burying mothers.  So, please don't think I'm just talking about you.

What I'm saying is that I owe it to myself to get the help I need to get pulled out of my crash site.  I deserve to be lifted from the ditch, and to have somebody help me have my emotional car towed in for work.  I deserve to be in rehab until the scars have dissipated, and the bones have healed.  I deserve my own fresh start.  And so do you.

But most of us can't get there, because we are still so mad about the crash in the first place.  Listen, I'll write it simply; Forgive yourself, get help, move forward.  I know what I'm saying can take time, but you can't heal unless you realize that you have crashed, and that you aren't healthy to do it by yourself.

So, please get up.

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