Black Greek LIfe: 7 Lessons That I Learned Being in an NPHC Organization

As I've turned thirty-seven this week, I've been meandering over different parts of my life...and tonight has me thinking about Black Greek Letter Organization, better known to many as NPHC.  I've been a member of Alpha Phi Alpha for almost 14 years, now! Wow. I don't claim that to be an old head, but I do believe that having been in a few grad chapters and working with no less than three undergraduate chapters (of my own organization), serving some time on the Southern Region of NPHC, and serving as an advisor for two collegiate chapters of NPHC over the course of my years have given me a little bit of perspective.  A few months ago, I asked some of my NPHC members what they wished they knew before they joined their respective organizations.  Their answers were profound, but I never took the time to answer that question.  So, here's my post about what you should learn as a member of one of our organizations, as someone who is reflecting on a life lived on college campuses:

1. It's not about you.  I think too many people think of our organizations as something to be collected to be added to a resume.  But, being a member of NPHC is about a movement and a heritage that isn't limited to one singular person.  Even though I may bring a depth of gifts to the organization, if I don't use them in the development of something bigger than myself, I will never understand what it is like to serve and support a community and world needing to see brother and sisterhood in action.

2. Shut up and listen to people who come before you.  The world in its current iteration doesn't honor long-term commitment and elder-ship; however, we should always seek to be people who listen to our elders no matter whether we disagree or not.  I must say that my time in Greek Life has taught me to be quiet (even when I thought I knew it all).  Sometimes, not being able to listen, is the one thing that causes many of us to make the same mistakes over and over again and/or to be disregarded.

3. Be impressive (DYNAMIC)!  The one thing, I absolutely adore about my time as a Greek...is that it has continued to impress upon me (the lessons of my familial elders) to put my best foot forward!  I am reminded to provide the best presentation of self that I can...Intellectually, Visually, and Spiritually.  So, I try. I don't always make the mark, but I sincerely try to improve daily!

4. Think Strategically! I learned these lessons through a depth of interactions with Alphas at CAU!  I really believe that being a member of these organizations should invoke in you a sense of political and strategic saavy that helps you to navigate the world...and to think through all that is being asked of you. People who don't have a plan will forever be wandering in the wilderness.

5. You must learn to Love even when something is at its worst.  Most people only love things when they are at their best.  We even treat people like that.  But to be a member with that kind of conditional love, is not to love at all.  Alpha has taught me, in quite a few ways, how to Love people I would otherwise walk away from.  Some of the basic Christian principles can be learned in the bonds of NPHC organizations.

6. Celebrate Others! I can remember being told in my first year in Alpha that when others cross, that brothers were called to celebrate the entrance of others into Greek Life.  Sometimes, we want all eyes on us, but we often need to be reminded that we must be people who don't mind lavishing others, particularly when we won't get anything out of it, or don't quite feel like celebrating.  Even though, I never had a probate show, I love supporting my students as they are presented to their communities.  Heck, sometimes I even buy presents (if I can afford it).  And, I am reminded of when I first crossed...and the many gifts that were given to me by brothers I had only known a short while.

7. Don't Just Stand There, Fix It!  Sometimes members, officers, neophytes, prophytes are handed busted chapters, busted processes, and busted relationships.  Sometimes we create these dynamics.  And, other times, things just happen.  And this may be the hardest lesson to learn...but when you are called to be a brother or sister...you are called to aid in the fixing of things.  You are called to wipe tears.  You are called to build chapters.  We are called to clean up messes.  Thus, I am reminded that some of us only seem to think our job is to critique...but in all actuality we are called to do more than that.  We are called to fix things that either became busted or were busted.

These lessons don't have to be exclusive to Greek Life....but they should make you ask questions about the things in which you are involved.  My prayer is that you seek to learn lessons daily from all things in your life.

Twice As Good To Get Half As Much: Birthdays, Potential, and Ambition

It's not surprising that we find Scandal's female protagonist, Olivia Pope, being reminded of a general lesson that every good Black parent has told their ambitious Black child, as she (Olivia) is on the verge of loosing it all because of her taboo relationship with the president. "You have to be twice as good to get half as much," says Olivia's father.  When I watched the season premiere last Thursday, I was immediately taken back to 6200 Fairfield Rd, Columbia, South Carolina, where both James Hasker and Thelma Lucille Payne would say the same thing to me as I sat with homework I didn't want to do, and would complain about looming reading, math problem sets, and science activities.

Alot like my friend set, I have carried this mantra into everything I do, even now.  When I was in High School, I would keep a log of grades, so that I would be assured of no surprises at the end of the year.  When I was at Macalester College, I would read (10 books) during my summers while working two jobs to catch up on what I didn't know from the previous years. When I was given grades on papers, I would study the critiques of my professors (often having my mentoring professors look over my stuff).  When I was in grad school, it was my goal to bring in outside resources that helped illumine the text I was reading.  There were moments when I would be so annoyed at myself that I couldn't do it all...that I couldn't be perfect...that I was letting my grandparents down by not being TWICE as good.   I tried very hard because I didn't want colleagues, peers, and professors to think of me as lazy, unintelligent, or untalented.  I have always wanted to be thought of as an ambitious, gifted and EXCELLENT student, scholar, administrator, and leader.  

I thought that being twice as good would ensure that doors would always be open to me, but I have found as many Black people in my age group have found, that my talent alone has not yielded the opportunity that we all thought we would have at our fingertips as we approach our 40s...or live in our 30s.  There are sooo many factors that influence success. And, as class stratification continues to grip the country's systems of opportunity and uplift, I am reminded that resources for exploration, sincere mentorship/encouragement, and fiscal resources make it possible to live out one's potential and ambition. 

I wish it was just about talent, but the reality is that I've seen a variety of students barred from college education because of their parents inability to provide resources or qualify for student loans.  I wish it was about talent, but I see regularly the difference between resources of PWIs and HBCUs.  I wish it  was about talent, but I know that some students are strategically left out of conversations, opportunities, and mentoring relationships that would provide the greatest benefit for their future success.

As I celebrate my 37th birthday today, I am thankful for the opportunities I have had, but I am doing a little soul searching about the parental truth of being twice as good, and getting half as much.  It is ringing true, unfortunately.  I guess if I had a prayer today, I wish that institutional racism was a barrier that had been overcome, as I celebrate milestones like the 50th anniversary of Black Student Life at Duke.  If I had a prayer request, it would be that every Black child had the power to live out their potential and ambition...and that them being twice as good meant that they got twice as much opportunity. Isn't that the point of a meritocracy?  Since I'm praying, I am praying for every person I know that finds themselves waking up on the brink of a birthday and asking a seminal question: "How did I get here?" I am praying for every person who has been twice as good, only to find out that getting half as much only puts you nominally above the poverty line, allows for a thick glass ceiling system in your career, isolates you from your real passions, and has you living in a survival state.

My prayer is that everybody would get to live out the dreams of their best self...and be rewarded for doing so.