It's not surprising that we find Scandal's female protagonist, Olivia Pope, being reminded of a general lesson that every good Black parent has told their ambitious Black child, as she (Olivia) is on the verge of loosing it all because of her taboo relationship with the president. "You have to be twice as good to get half as much," says Olivia's father. When I watched the season premiere last Thursday, I was immediately taken back to 6200 Fairfield Rd, Columbia, South Carolina, where both James Hasker and Thelma Lucille Payne would say the same thing to me as I sat with homework I didn't want to do, and would complain about looming reading, math problem sets, and science activities.
Alot like my friend set, I have carried this mantra into everything I do, even now. When I was in High School, I would keep a log of grades, so that I would be assured of no surprises at the end of the year. When I was at Macalester College, I would read (10 books) during my summers while working two jobs to catch up on what I didn't know from the previous years. When I was given grades on papers, I would study the critiques of my professors (often having my mentoring professors look over my stuff). When I was in grad school, it was my goal to bring in outside resources that helped illumine the text I was reading. There were moments when I would be so annoyed at myself that I couldn't do it all...that I couldn't be perfect...that I was letting my grandparents down by not being TWICE as good. I tried very hard because I didn't want colleagues, peers, and professors to think of me as lazy, unintelligent, or untalented. I have always wanted to be thought of as an ambitious, gifted and EXCELLENT student, scholar, administrator, and leader.
I thought that being twice as good would ensure that doors would always be open to me, but I have found as many Black people in my age group have found, that my talent alone has not yielded the opportunity that we all thought we would have at our fingertips as we approach our 40s...or live in our 30s. There are sooo many factors that influence success. And, as class stratification continues to grip the country's systems of opportunity and uplift, I am reminded that resources for exploration, sincere mentorship/encouragement, and fiscal resources make it possible to live out one's potential and ambition.
I wish it was just about talent, but the reality is that I've seen a variety of students barred from college education because of their parents inability to provide resources or qualify for student loans. I wish it was about talent, but I see regularly the difference between resources of PWIs and HBCUs. I wish it was about talent, but I know that some students are strategically left out of conversations, opportunities, and mentoring relationships that would provide the greatest benefit for their future success.
As I celebrate my 37th birthday today, I am thankful for the opportunities I have had, but I am doing a little soul searching about the parental truth of being twice as good, and getting half as much. It is ringing true, unfortunately. I guess if I had a prayer today, I wish that institutional racism was a barrier that had been overcome, as I celebrate milestones like the 50th anniversary of Black Student Life at Duke. If I had a prayer request, it would be that every Black child had the power to live out their potential and ambition...and that them being twice as good meant that they got twice as much opportunity. Isn't that the point of a meritocracy? Since I'm praying, I am praying for every person I know that finds themselves waking up on the brink of a birthday and asking a seminal question: "How did I get here?" I am praying for every person who has been twice as good, only to find out that getting half as much only puts you nominally above the poverty line, allows for a thick glass ceiling system in your career, isolates you from your real passions, and has you living in a survival state.
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